I'm sick of OctuMom!!!!

Here it is going on 4AM and I am still awake. Everybody is sleep and here I am blogging. So much has transpired since the last time I blogged, but one thing is for certain...I AM SICK OF OCTUMOM!!! Everyday I turn on the TV praying that this will be the day the media reports some real news and they continue to disappoint me by wasting airtime on that Angelina Jolie wanna-be. I am so sick of the media force feeding this "woman" (and I use that term loosely) to us every single day. I wish she would just go away like Lindsay Lohan. I mean come on already!! Our economy is in the toilet, people are losing their jobs, homes and way of life, our country is still in a war with no end in sight, children are getting killed everyday by gun violence and yet we are reporting this BS???!!! This is wrong and I feel that since nobody else is speaking out about it, then I may as well do it. Okay, so this dummy has 14 kids and no husband, no job, and on welfare. I certainly DO NOT sympathize with her because she knew what she was doing. She planned this. She's an opportunist and her own mother has admitted that she's a nutcase, but yet instead of the psych ward taking her away for some help, they continue to show us how she's doing like I give a F***! This "woman" just bought a $500K house, has done numerous interviews, and continues to collect donations and handouts. As a nation we should be outraged!!!

Here's what we know:

1. Octumom has 14 kids. 8 of which were just born in January....
2. She was living with her Mom in a foreclosed home with 6 kids....
3. She bears a scary resemblance to Angelina Jolie...(Sorry Angie)....
4. She won't name the kids father or even allow him to help her...
5. She's unemployed and is unmarried....
6. She's a media hog....
7. She appears to be mentally ill and out of touch with reality....
8. She allegedly just kicked the nursing team that was helping her with her kids to the curb....

With all that said, I wish the media would stop sensationalizing people that pimp their kids to the public for monetary gain. I can't stand "Jon and 8 plus Kate"..comes on TLC and it's the dumbest show ever. This woman Kate talks to her husband like he's one of the kids. It's quite disturbing. She's very overbearing and rude. Then they have another reality show called "17 kids and Counting" about the Duggar family. These people are living smarter but it doesn't change the fact they are pimping their family as well. The Mom of the 17 0r 18 kids appears to be on some kind of drug. She's very laid back all the time and happy. WTF??? How can you have a house full of kids and be that damn calm??? She's got to be on some drugs!!! Now they have another show with a family that has 10 kids. I swear this s*** is getting out of control!! My husband's great-grandmother had 13 kids and they never put her on television. This is BS!!! I've already called and emailed CNN about this. I have yet to hear back. All I have to say is if they give OctuMom a reality show, I am going to destroy all my TVs!!!

Message to the media: You care more about this crap than we (the general public) does. Our economy is in a recession, people can barely feed their families, they have a "Tent City" in California and New Orleans is still a mess from Katrina...please stop forcing these annoying ass celebrities and fake ass parents who pimp their kids for money on to the general public. WE DON'T CARE!!! IT'S QUITE INSULTING THAT YOU THINK THIS IS ENTERTAINMENT AND THAT WE ARE THAT SHALLOW WE CARE!!

Marriage: What does it all mean?

If my father was still alive, I have no doubt that he would still be married to my mother. After 31 years of marriage (not including the 7 years they dated), my father succumed to Lymphoma. He was a good husband to my mother. I never once saw him raise his voice or his hand to my mother no matter how bitchy she could be. Witnessing his love and devotion for her made me see first hand that when I get married, I should not settle for anything less. I almost did though. After 2 abusive relationships and 2 unplanned preganacies with stupid a** jerks, I met my husband. He accepted my 2 kids with open arms and has never left my side. Even after we had a child of our own. I still can't believe he's here because I am not an easy person to live with. I have bad habits. I snore, grind my teeth, moan and talk in my sleep, I love surfing the internet, I love reality shows, I'm a workaholic, I leave my things all over the house and I can't sit still. These are all things my husband hates. It's hard to watch television together because he loves watching CNN and MSNBC but I hate it! He loves listening to talk radio in the car while I'm happy listening to an R&B CD. I read in bed, I read at the table and anywhere we're going to be for more than 30 minutes, I read. I'm a "side-seat" driver and can't help the urge to tell him how to drive. It leads to many arguments. In the end, our problems are so miniscule compared to other marriages I know. I know wives and husbands that have cheated and have had children with the "other person" and sadly, I know about marriages that are suffering from abuse both physically and emotionally. But what can be done about it? I say there needs to be a marriage manual for free. 7 things couples need to ask themselves when they decide to say "I do." I'm going to share these things for free and trust me, if more people saw this, they would re-think the whole marriage thing. The divorce rate is already high, why not do something about it? Okay here it goes:

1. If your significant other is more wrapped up in the wedding and the actual ceremony opposed to what the vows mean, you probably shouldn't get married. There are people that are more in love with the idea of getting married rather than the idea of being married. I got married in a courthouse and we paid all of $30 bucks to do it. It's going on 12 years with me and my husband. But other couples we know that spent thousands of dollars are not even together anymore or their marriages are on the rocks. Go figure...
2. If your significant other has a temper problem, getting married won't change it. In fact, in most cases, marriage makes it worse.
3. If your significant other has BAD credit, you may want to work on getting it better before the wedding. There's nothing worse than getting married and finding out your new wife/husband is $100K in debt.
4. Get tested. Make sure your significant other doesn't have a disease that may kill you in 2 years. The facts are this: African-Americans are 13% of the population but we make up more than 60% of new HIV/AIDS cases each year. How the f*** is that possible? To have unsafe sex in this day and age is just plain stupid. Don't risk your future wife/husband's life because of stupdity.
5. Fight fair. It's okay to argue because couples disagree, but hitting below the belt is just plain wrong. If Joe/Jane brings up a fight from 2 years ago, chances are this person holds grudges and has a hard time with forgiveness. You might not want to marry someone like that.
6. Make time for making love. If your sex life is strained before marriage, it won't get better after it. It's important to marry someone that is compatible with you sexually as well as mentally.
7. I know this is going to sound cliche but: "marry your best friend". You have to have a friendship with your spouse if you plan on spending the next 50 years with them.

I don't know everything about marriage but I know what works in mine. I couldn't have married a more perfect person. In the end, marriage is not a crap shoot. It's a life changing experience. When you marry someone, you are saying you are committing yourself to this person for life, forsaking all others and putting them first. You are making this person official and allowing them the right to be your witness in everything life has to offer. This is serious, it's deep and it's not a joke. Times have changed and marriage is different than it was 50, 100, 200 years ago; but it's still a bond between a man and a woman that no person can break.

Holla!

(**It was not my intention to offend any gay/lesbian couples regarding marriage. I can't speak to that, so I purely discussed what I know first hand about my marriage. I don't care if you get married. Just make sure you follow my 7 rules to a successful marriage**)

Interview with Author and Businesswoman Dorrie Williams-Wheeler

I decided for my next blog to interview author and businesswoman Dorrie Williams-Wheeler, talented and creative author of: "Sparkledoll Always Into Something" (2001), "The Unplanned Pregnancy Handbook" (2002), "Be My Sorority Sister Under Pressure" (2003) (hardback), "Be My Sorority Sister "(2003) (hardback), "The Unplanned Pregnancy Book for Teens and College Students" (2004), "Sparkledoll Always Into Something" -2004 edition (2004 reissue), "She’s Out There Bad" (2007), "My Brother Is A Baller" (2008).

When did you first realize you wanted to be a writer?

"I’ve been writing since I was about 7 years old. I really enjoy writing. As long as the ideas were coming I continued to write until I was in college. I took up screenwriting as a college student and started writing scripts. I didn’t have much commercial success as a screenwriter, so I began writing novels in 2001."

How long does it take you to write a book?

"It depends on the books. Some books have taken a matter of weeks to finish. Others have taken a month or several months. There are other books that I have spent years working on."

What is your work schedule like when you're writing?

"When I am actively writing a book I try to work on it everyday. If I have a good flow when I am working on a novel it’s really exciting to me to tell the story."

How do your books get published?

"I have my own publishing company named Sparkledoll Productions. I am really proud of my publishing company. I started out using a print on demand company named Iuniverse back in 2001. It was a good start. I didn’t have any complaints with Iuniverse. I think they make the book publishing experience easy for new writers. I wanted to grow as an author and have more control over the cost and availability of my titles so in 2003 I started Sparkledoll Productions. This means I own 100% of everything involved with my books. The books are distributed by Ingram and Baker & Taylor who are two of the most important book distributors and they are available worldwide. All of the titles are available from Amazon. com and Barnes and Nobles on-line resellers."

Where do you get your information or ideas for your books?

"I performed extensive research for The Unplanned Pregnancy Book for Teens and College Students. As for my fiction titles, I’m not sure where the ideas come from. If I have a good idea I try to run with it. If I don’t have time to start writing the entire story synopsis when I get the idea I try to at least get started writing."

When did you write your first book and how old were you?

"My first book was Sparkledoll Always Into Something. I think I was about 25 when I started writing the book and I was 26 when it was published."

What do you like to do when you're not writing?

"When I am not writing I try to work on my entertainment website Thabiz. com. It’s a lot of fun. Other than that I try to promote the book and seek out book reviewers."

What does your family think of your writing?

"My family is proud of my writing. They have read most of my books. They are really proud for the most part."

What was one of the most surprising things you learned in creating your books?

"One of the most surprising things I learned when creating my book was the sense of accomplishment I felt when the actual product was in my hand. I felt very accomplished in the fact that I had created a book on my own. It was a wonderful feeling."

How many books have you written? Which is your favorite?

"I’ve released 7 books total. Sparkledoll Always Into Something (2001), The Unplanned Pregnancy Handbook (2002), Be My Sorority Sister Under Pressure (2003) (hardback), Be My Sorority Sister (2003) (hardback), The Unplanned Pregnancy Book for Teens and College Students (2004), Sparkledoll Always Into Something -2004 edition (2004 reissue), She’s Out There Bad (2007), My Brother Is A Baller (2008). "

Do you have any suggestions to help me become a better writer? If so, what are they?

"Well I would say try to have some kind of idea how you would like your work published before you get too entrenched in the writing process. If you plan to seek out a literary agent start looking for agents. If you plan to self publish look at publishing options. More than anything I would say try to stay focused and if you start one book try to finish it or at least get to a comfortable place before you start the next book. Sometimes I find myself with 4 or five works in progress and it becomes hard for me to just go ahead and finish things."

Do you hear from your readers much? What kinds of things do they say?

"I used to hear from my readers a lot. I have two Myspace profiles, one of them is for my website Thabiz. com and the other one is my brand new author Myspace. I hope that I can find more time to network with my readers. It seems for the most part I hear from other authors. I guess people have been a bit busy with the holidays and all. I hope to hear from more readers soon."

Do you like to create books for adults?

"I try to create books for adults. I think the books I write now have an adult tone to them. I think they are appropriate for high school and college students meaning I don’t write a lot of gratuitous sex scenes or have a lot of curse words in most of my books. “She’s Out There Bad” I think is probably my most adult themed book. Some of the books I am working on now are probably a little more adult oriented. I’m really excited though because I am planning to write a new sorority book titled “Be My Sorority Sister-Living Conditions” and I am planning on writing a sequel to “My Brother Is A Baller” as well. I have several really good book ideas I am working on in conjunction with working on those sequels."

What do you think makes a good story?

"I think a good story is one that has an exciting theme that hasn’t been utilized too often. A good story is one that will make the readers really happy and excited. Too often readers come across the same theme depending on the genre of book they tend to read. I like trying to write about different themes and topics."

As a child, what did you want to do when you grew up?

"I always wanted to be a writer surprisingly, but I wasn’t sure how that would be financially effective. Lucky, for me I was able to live my dream."

For more about author Dorrie Williams-Wheeler visit her on the web at http://www. dorriewilliamswheeler. com

Do You Know Someone that Lives a Champagne Lifestyle on a Beer Budget?

I got this topic from my girl Angie, who blogs too. We were discussing people who live outside their means and finance a Champagne lifestyle on a beer budget. But what does this even mean? It's a vast topic. It speaks to the people who purchased homes they couldn't afford hence the reason for the foreclosure crisis....all the way down to people that are addicted to labels but all their utilities are disconnected. At one point in my life, I was guilty of this too and then I realized how foolish I was acting and how irresponsible it was. I wised up and changed my ways. The difference I guess is that I'm older. I made this mistake when I was a in my twenties. You're allowed to screw up in your twenties because that's the age where you are "finding yourself." But when I see people in their 30's, 40's, 50's, etc. doing this , I felt something needed to be said. I guess I should give a few more examples of what I mean. You are guilty of living a champagne lifestyle on a beer budget if you:

• Use your government issued check to finance an expensive wardrobe, a car or a trip to an exotic location;
• If you live with your parents or grandparents, pay no cost of living but you are always in the mall shopping;
• If you are in foreclosure but you just came back from a cruise;
• If you had your car repossessed but you had money for your hair, nails, new outfit, a concert, a trip to Vegas and the casinos;
• If you only buy name brand shoes, clothes and purses but you can't pronounce the name of the designer and you are broke for the rest of the month;
• If you constantly are taking out payday loans and owe 2-4 pay day loan companies;
• If your credit cards are maxed out and you can't afford to pay the minimum balance;
• If you shop for electronics and furniture at Rent A Center;
• If you bounce checks;
• If you have an iPhone but it's not on;
• If you have a new car but can't afford to pay the full coverage insurance;
• If you live paycheck to paycheck and you have nothing left over for your savings or for a rainy day...

I'm sure there's more and I know I missed a few examples. It's just very disturbing when I hear how people would rather blow money on superficial purchases that they can't afford rather than live a responsible life. Don't get me wrong, I believe when a person gets paid, they should pay themselves first. They shouldn't however pay themselves first, then blow the money on stupid stuff they don't even need. In today's times, there is no such thing as a nest egg anymore. Most of the people I talk to don't even know what it is. As a community we need to really wake up and get it together. There's a new book out by Suze Orman. I think everybody should read this book. From now until Jan. 15th, 2009, if you go to www.oprah.com you can download Suze Orman's new book for free titled "2009 Action Plan". It's amazing and I recommend you read it! It will change your life and your finances! Hollla!

2009 New Years Resolutions

Happy New Year everybody! It's that time of year again where we all take time to make our New Years Resolutions. I make them every year and I follow through on some of them. I struggle with a few but overall, usually by December 31st I can look back and be happy with what I've done in the past year. I think I will step my game up and make 7 resolutions instead of the usual 5.

Here they go:

1. Go to church more often.

2. Lose weight (this will be one for me every year...gotta get fit!)

3. Save more money and pay myself first. (I learned in 2007 that I'm my first creditor. Everybody else needs to get in line. This does not mean that I don't pay my bills. I do. I just pay me first.)

4. Eliminate negative people from my life. (People with no ambition and drama have no business being in my life...sadly this includes family which unfortunately will do you worse than your enemy)

5. Travel more. (Before I stamp my passport, I need to see more of my own country.)

6. Spend more time with friends and family and perhaps make some new friends with more common interests. (examples would be to perhaps join a book club, start a monthly "girls night out", take a cooking class, take a cruise or trip with other married couples, join a fitness center for women, go out on more dates with my husband, learn a new dance, etc.)

7. Advance my career and possibly change jobs within my field of expertise.

What are your New Years Resolutions? Feel free to share them and post to my blog!

What do you Believe?

This was sent to me by a wise old woman:


A birth certificate shows that we were born.
A Death Certificate shows that we died.
Pictures show that we lived!

Have a seat . . . Relax . . . And read this slowly.
I Believe... That just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other. And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do love each other.

I Believe...That we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.

I Believe...That no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.
I Believe...That true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.

I Believe... That you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.

I Believe...That it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.

I Believe..That you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.

I Believe... That you can keep going long after you think you can't.

I Believe...That we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.

I Believe...That either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I Believe...That heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.

I Believe...That money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I Believe...That my best friend and I, can do anything, or nothing and have the best time.

I Believe...That sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down, will be the ones to help you get back up.

I Believe...That sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.

I Believe...That maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.

I Believe...That it isn't always enough, to be forgiven by others. sometimes, you have to learn to forgive yourself.

I Believe..That no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.

I Believe...That our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but, we are responsible for whom we become.
I Believe...That you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life Forever.

I Believe...Two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.

I Believe...That your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you.

I Believe...That even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you - you will find the strength to help.

I Believe...That credentials on the wall does not make you a decent human being.

I Believe...That the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon.

I Believe... 'The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything."

Fake People

Everybody knows somebody that's fake. By fake I mean someone who goes through life like everything is a pissing contest. A person that feels the need to discuss their salary on a daily basis, materialistic purchases and fake accomplishments. What do we do with these people? I say, either cut them out of your life completely, tell them about themself or keep them at arms length whereas you don't speak to them on a daily basis. But what's the source of this fakeness? It's insecurity and low self esteem. People that try to make themselves seem more successful than you, are insecure. There's no excuse for a grown up to discuss their paycheck down to the dollar and cents, their annual salary plus bonuses, details about their sex life with their husband or boyfriend, wife or girlfriend or everytime they go shopping and spend a little money. It's not necessary. Right now, I'd like to address the fake people and ask them to read my list of annoying things they do and I ask that they commit my list to memory and stop doing them all together.

Fakers/Haters/Annoying People, please read the list of things you do below. Please make a 2009 New Years Resolution to stop doing them all together:

1. It's about to be 2009, grow up, enjoy life and stop trying to compete with the next person.
2. No one cares how much money you make annually, it's not like you are going to pay my bills with it.
3. No one cares how much your significant other makes....are they going to help me with my bills? If this person is not your husband or wife, you look pretty damn stupid bragging on dividends that you aren't legally entitled to.
4. Stop discussing your sex life. Now that you are grown, chances are everyone you know is having the same kind of sex you are having. It isn't a revelation...it's just sex. It's okay to keep the details between you and your man/woman.
5. Stop copying what other people do. Be original. Just because your neighbor moves to Miami or if your friend buys a new car or a house, it doesn't mean you have to do it too. Other people's debt should not prompt you to go get some too.
6. Stop buying things you can't afford just to fit the status quo.
7. Stop bragging on your looks. Chances are everybody you know has eyes and can see how good looking you are. You don't need to repeat it to everybody you know everyday. (It is okay to look in the mirror while you are alone and tell yourself you are beautiful or gorgeous). When you say it outloud around other people all day everyday it makes you look conceited and stuck up.

I know, I was harsh. But it had to be said. I look forward to your comments.

Holla!